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Letting go of controlling thoughts

Vicki Button
May 18, 2016
3 min read

Do you find yourself wanting to take control of outcomes or how other people react? In the last few weeks I have noticed how many people I have come into contact with feel it is vitally important that they get their point of view across or that they have all the answers in a situation. It's like constantly sending texts to someone and they don't respond and the more they don't respond the more irate you feel that you don't know if they are getting your point of view across or if they even care what you have to say.

Have you ever taken it upon yourself to make things happen or made phone calls and later regretting what you did because it made a situation worse than it was before? Or sometimes by interfering it actually helps to solve a problem. It's all about stopping the constant thinking and listening to your instinct. If it really feels like the right thing to do and it's a nagging feeling that won't go away, then it's in your best interest to follow through. If you are trying to control the situation to feed your ego, then it won't serve you any purpose.

What would happen if you never knew what someone else was thinking? Take a good look at why that question bothers you. Would you feel as though you were not understood? Do you feel you deserve answers? Do you feel you wish for others to change their behaviour and you are the one who is going to do that?

All I seem to observe from people who can't let go and need to control what's happening around them, is that they are over stressed, over thinking, complicating issues and driving themselves crazy in the process.

I have a friend who is constantly worried about the future and what is going to happen, even waking up several times a night with a hundred thoughts running through their mind. I said you must enjoy doing this to yourself, to which the reply was "of course I don't enjoy it, I'm draining myself" and I replied "if you didn't like it, you would change it or try to find ways to meditate or learn to change your thought patterns". Then the answer is usually, "oh i can't meditate" or "I don't know how to change my thoughts". It's an easy way out of never really trying and putting in any effort because really they are so accustomed to their way of thinking that doing something different would be out of their comfort zone.

I find it a lot easier to keep the focus on what I feel myself. If I feel I have made a mistake or I have done wrong and need to apologise to someone, then I will. If I feel I have done nothing wrong in a situation, then I can sit and feel peace within and allow the other person to feel whatever they need to.

Have you ever been confronted by someone who makes you feel inferior? Do you feel they show more confidence than you and then you feel smaller or of less value? That is rubbish, we are all equal, no one is better than the next person. So the next time you are approaching someone who makes you feel nervous or lesser, think to yourself, we are EQUAL and when you die you will have to judge yourself as I will judge myself. It is not my job to judge you and it is not your job to judge me.